Well, yesterday sucked.
I don’t write for how long(?!) and this is what I start with? *sigh*
How disappointingly commonplace.
Ah well, here I am today, having ‘risen early, poured coffee, and thought while pouring that I should pursue the urge to journal and not putting it to the side, a-gain. Except that yesterday kind of sucked and today has hardly begun so what does one say?
What would “I” say rather? More often than sometimes it is a different thing and not the same as the lumped plurality of “one”. (…that’s kind of funny, “One” being plural.)
Well, except the first sentence, as noted “commonplace” and therefore, disappointingly slipping into a plurality of “one”.
*staring at screen with furrowed brow while this disappointing realization sinks in*
Deep down the urge to begin my day transcribing some thoughts into words is because there is so much going on, I am living at this second in the cusp of specific, evolving kinds of change(!). Yesterday was merely a difficult day. It happens. This cusp, a culmination of changes, I’ve been orchestrating for more than a year. I believe my trite first sentence was to release yesterday’s sucking into nothingness and start today clean-slated, eager. Because you see, I am actually in a pretty decent mood and all I really wanted to document when I sat down and opened a new page was to recognise (again, I do it in different ways constantly) that my life is (has been & still will be for some time) in flux and, without saying too much before the current fluctuations settle, that I hope/expect today to be more satisfying than yesterday.
Yes, I think that is all… and now I have done it.
Recently I purchased a pair sunglasses. I’ve hopes of needing this extra pair.
————-(an explanation, of a sort)————-
For me writing things down is like acceptance, clarification, loving strokes to my ego. I do it to release what’s in my head. Not just to let it go, or exercise thought, but writing it often lends the ability to view whatever it is, from different angles.
(acceptance=recognition, clarification=ability to see forward and stumble less, ego stroking=manipulating myself to keep moving)