Good Morning…

It’s the same desk, but the view is of books and collected objects. Black cat at my side though she isn’t Mono. Keyboard is sleeker, coffee still Hazelnut, my hair is full on grey now.

But I’m still me, that hasn’t changed.

Why I chose to sit down at my desk this morning I’m not sure…
because I almost didn’t. I stood for a few seconds in the dark as the sun rose, coffee mug in hand. Something just said, sit down. Do what you used to do that made you so happy. So I did, thinking it would only be briefly, soothingly, then I’d feel the need to get up and go on about my morning as usual.

This desk, not the glass-topped work/computer/entertainment center desk that was my living room office through the year of Covid 19.
No, THIS desk… this little roll top writing desk that I saved up for, picked out from a store that I went to in person. The sales girl who found me in a back corner of the store asked if there was something I was looking for and I replied, “This, I came in specifically for this.” By the end of the sentence I was smiling.
She actually took me with her into the back storage area and I watched as she climbed up onto massive storage shelves filled with large boxes and pulled one out that she knew was there. I was both impressed and pleased.
(Remembering it now reminds me a bit of Ollivander’s wand shop, with much larger boxes. Slightly less dust.)

“This” desk has been more decorative than anything else for several years now. Not since I moved it away from that row of incredibly tall windows overlooking that always interesting street. I still miss that apartment. But I don’t long for it.

(I can say that about a lot of things in my life. I suspect that you can too.)
I may decide to talk about those windows and that street. I could tell you lots, … but some other time.

It’s like “med’cine” (mental flashback to Disney’s Mary Poppins making me smile). Sooo calm now just sitting here tapping at keys, sipping coffee on a day off work.

Looking up at all these little loved things on view…
Favorite books,
Collected stationary (I don’t use nearly enough),
Replica chess pieces of those mysterious ones found buried some 800 years ago on an island coast of Scotland,
Stacks of filled in journals,
Photography books my Dad enjoys creating from photos he’s taken,
Old board games, A beanbag “Learn to juggle” set,
The entire of FOX cartoon “Batman” trading cards collection, a
Bejeweled Pirateology handbook, “a Cabin boy’s course in Pirate hunting”,
A copper wire “creature” created by a Centenary College student who gifted it to us at a late-night coffee shop (a very long time ago),
Even a couple variations of working apple iPod’s,
The Media Pass where I got to see J.K. Rowling in person.
So many things, all that tug at my heart for some reason or another.

…A museum of me, I suppose. I think everyone should have one.
(Well you know, not OF me of course. Of YOU, because the you, inside of you, is such a very important thing to keep.)

The sun is fully up but I’ve still a full day ahead of me.
Lovely.
No better soothing medicine than revisiting the things you love. In my case today, the things that live in the house with you but sit left alone because you work, or you have to do this thing, or that bit of laundry. Or entertain your adopted kitty-cats who have, by the way, VERY different personalities and don’t often like to nap in the same room as one another so you have go find them occasionally, wherever they are, in order to show them that they are adored.
Nose bumps and sweet blinky-eyes your reward.
Oh wait, I branched off onto a tangent, sorry. A feline inspired one of which I am clearly still susceptible.

“ol;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,”
(Her name is Quince, she has large paws that she had to grow into, and felt the need to add something. Probably having read under my shoulder of the things you love that live in the house with you.

…Medicine, …the things you love, …Good morning 🙂

Why did I sit down and open an empty “New post” page?
(My computer remembered my log in, I certainly did not.)
It’s been so very long since I cared to open WordPress and set something adrift.

Because I’ve been off work all week and have socialized, blew out Birthday candles, made a wish, sat about doing loads of wonderful “nothing”, accomplished several needed tasks, watched television, grilled everything grill-able from my fridge, snapped many random photographs, admired art in person, even maintained some chores (except for laundry which I’ve just let pile up, …I still am a girl with a LOT of clothes.)

Because like in a movie, it called me, and I sat down.

Because, I clearly needed it. Like “med’cine” and Mary Poppins.

You see, now that I have done the things we all look forward to doing when we have time off work… something in me said, no… you’re not actually fulfilled are you? You THINK you may be, but lets not fool ourselves. “Me, Myself, and I”… what about the stuff you really want to do but you never do anymore.
*pause, while holding coffee mug, looking at the silhouette of the desk before switching on the lamp and pulling out the chair*.

• Sit down at the desk you love. Open a blank, white, electronic page, and talk about it.
• “It” being “whatever”.
• Then hit the POST button and send it off like a piece of paper in a bottle at sea.
• Simple, just do it. You actually do want to, I would know.

That’s how I think of this by the way. In case I’ve never said. I explained it once to someone; why I started “blogging”.
It was for two reasons that I could summarize:

1. I love to play with technology and it was an experiment (and excuse) to combine nerdy interests and graphic design. Both of which I excel.
2. Because I enjoy exploring my thougths and like to write things down. (I also keep a journal). But it is freeing in a way because someone, somewhere, COULD read it of course. So more daring than a journal entry.
   
   So you see?.. Fantastic, it could just float out there, like in a bottle adrift in the sea.
   
   (Admittedly, I am also quite good at romanticizing narcissism.)

I chose to sit down at my desk this morning because sometimes, THE STUFF we plan to do on our days off, that we think is what WE WANT to do, IS ONLY PARTLY what is NEEDED in order to really feel like it was time well spent.

• 

  Quince

• 

  Always wanted a roll-top.

• 

  Bastet

• 

  Callet “Louis XVI” 1782-3

• 

  Vervet “The Morning, Port Scene” 1780

• 

  Boudin “Harbor…” 1891

• 

  You can’t make a wish on your Birthday without candles.

I haven’t written in so long and THIS is what I post (??) …tiny joy’s.

I nervously watched my dad drink his coffee from my Union Jack china tea mug this weekend. Reminding myself that I love my dad, it wasn’t re-ally his fault the handle broke when he was rinsing out the “Northern Exposure” mug he’d previously been using. It would be hurtful to him and petty of me to mention that, uhm, perhaps he should have chosen a more sturdy option than the thin china tea mug. I suppressed my selfish, silly anxiety and kept my mouth shut, of course.

Tiny joy’s, we get them from the smallest things. They don’t even have to make sense to others. A favorite pen, pair of shoes, morning coffee mug… etc.
Sipping my morning coffee from the very mug I speak of, it came that my dad has a love of the author Patrick O’Brian’s sea novels. (You might remember the Hollywood movie “Master and Commander: Far Side of the World” starring Russell Crowe. English Navy Captain fighting the French during the Napoleonic wars. The movie was based on O’Brian’s books.) Of course Dad would be attracted to the mug emblazoned with the Union Jack flag!
Tiny joy’s we get from the choices we make, even when it comes to  choosing which mug to use for your morning coffee. It makes me smile now. Funny though… that Dad was enjoying flying Britain’s colors while sitting in a town that was so pro-Bonaparte.

Heheheh again… little amusements, tiny joy’s. It’s how I get through my days lately. It’s probably how many of us get through hard days. Keep hold of them my friends, tiny pleasures, little joys. They’re everywhere.

 

Post Script:
Some of you will be heartened to know that my forest green Northern Exposure mug’s handle can be glued back on, it was a clean break. *smile*

 

– If you want to know more about the author Patrick O’Brian.

– If you want to know more about the movie “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World”.

Because “Northern Exposure” was excellent and a much loved television series!

 

 

Then you go home with camera memory cards filled…

This year was the first time I didn’t take time off from my job to celebrate myself at the time of year when we should all do so. (Celebrate YOURselves on your own Birthdays I mean.) So I’ve just had the two days of my weekend (Sunday/Monday). It’s ok, I like my job. I’m not miserable anymore.

Yesterday I attempted a Walkabout as one of my Birthday outings. Turned out it was just brunch, then kind-of boredom. I mean, I know a couple of us had a good time, I did. For the others I think it was just nice. Hot, a little boring, but the margaritas were good. Regardless, I had a pleasurable day and I am grateful to my friends; I hope they had a good time and do not regret the hours they gave to me! The afternoon did not turn out as silly or adventurous as I’d hoped, but they gave me a gift… their time and attention. That alone makes me smile and feel happy.

So far it seems walkabouts are best successful when there are not more than two MAYbe three very close friends (or, if you’re just totally alone), who are into finding silliness and interest in humorous (oftentimes artistic) photo opportunities from things slight or grande as you walk about. Then you go home with camera memory cards filled with some beautiful, some wholly unattractive, and probably many hilarious photographs. It’s like when people plant grass on a hillside so rain doesn’t erode away the land. Time doesn’t fade the memory of the day you made lovely by the connection of friends, the things you did, the fun. (As a bonus you probably also end up with at least one social network profile photo, which EVERYONE enjoys having (whether we admit it openly or not).

El Gato Negro, getting the best margarita’s.

I have had a lovely Birthday, ALL the days of it. It’s marking isn’t quite over yet, I’ve a couple more people to share a meal or drink with, hug and thank for being my friend.

But today is the last day of my weekend so I thought to sit, sip my morning coffee, and try to write a little blog post. It used to make me so happy to write things out of my head. Like a message placed in a bottle and put out to sea. I don’t know if these things will ever be read, I’m perfectly happy thinking/hoping that they aren’t. I place them adrift online, it somehow makes them more alive than the ones handwritten into my real pen & paper journals.

Sometimes, when I go back and read a few blog posts from years ago I am amused, sometimes sad, always pleased at having them. Like photographs capture memories in image, journaling captures time-capsules of thought.

It’s who you are. The story of you, of course it is worth saving.

An-tici-pation… or, things I’ve remembered since moving to Gentilly.

I’m not used to cars running red lights just after they’ve turned red. Twelve years living in the Lower Garden District I suppose is why. Slower pace in small neighborhoods? Small intersections? Closer to home; less of a hurry? I do not know.
I am remembering now that I don’t live and work in a small, close area and “runners” are prevalent. I’d gotten used seeing GREEN and twisting my scooter’s throttle and VROOM(!) zipping off before the car next to me can even get going.
Now… *sad face* I pause.

“An-tici-pation” (Dr. Frank N. Furt, Rocky Horror Picture Show, 1975

 Anticipation of the negligent, impatient, selfish, non-thinking person who presses the gas in risk and defiance because they haven’t the patience to sit through that light again(!).

I had forgotten how selfish drivers while sitting in traffic can become.

“An-tici-pation” is my brain’s new mantra. It has whispered this often lately, in the voice of Dr. Frank N. Furt of course, on my commute to and from work. (The new commute is MUCH longer than it used to be, I’m still experimenting with variations.)

– When I sense a car is looking to move over into my lane by getting JUST enough ahead and NOT using their turn signal. 
I slow down to get away from the lawless bastard. Just before doing so I remind myself the armored jacket I’m wearing is not the same protection as being inside a car and I pull the brakes gently. Occasionally they surprise me by doing it right, but when they don’t… KNOW THIS ALL OF YOU THOUGHTLESS BASTARDS, I am scowling at you from inside my full face helmet as I lay on my horn (and see you glance into the rearview mirror probably wondering what that noise is).  It’s the only message I can send while restraining a “traffic vigilante” tendency. [footnote 1]

– Waiting a moment instead of zooming off right when I see my light turn green. Because too often a car zooms through even though my light is now green. *sigh*
I not only pause, but in large intersections, pause until the car next to me moves forward so that I cross with them. Using them as a shield, or really, just something large and more visible than I am. This is much less fun, but I like me, so I do it.

When I sense or do these things, my brain whispers “an-tici-pation”, I smile because of the reference, but essentially it is my brain’s calm way of patting me on the back saying, “good job, good job”.

motorcyclists, scooterists, bicyclists are like Jedi Knights, clairvoyants, or… any responsible person who not only read their drivers manual so long ago, but remembers some of it!
Yay, responsible drivers of all kinds.

May the force be with you, 
Bonanza Jellybn

——————————————————-

[1] Occasionally I have (when pulling up behind at a light a moment later) given them a quick “tut-tut”, then I ignore them. Just a quick shake of my finger and head is all that is needed, as if silently scolding a child. I don’t mind if they pretend to not have seen me shake my head at them, but I know they see me in the mirror, I can see their eyes when I do it. (Note: I also know I am a female on a scooter, which may be more likely to induce guilt than arrogant driver irritation.)

I hope that maybe, just MAY-BE, my harmless little reprimand might stick and keep them from automatically doing the same thing the next time they see a scooterist, motorcycle, or bicyclist on the road.

It’s all about the back-story…

During Amerivespa 2014 in New Orleans, TTRNO (the Transportation Revolution New Orleans) and some members of ScooterWest in San Diego customized a Silver 2007 250cc Vespa GTS, pulled out all the stops to soup it up and “twin” it to the 2014 Ducati 1199 Superleggera special edition racing bike that was getting a lot of press and awe in the motorcycle world. Ducati is known for it’s neon red racing color, but they had it specially designed, it’s wheels and body frame are magnesium, hence the Super Lil’s magnesium colored wheels. Ducati is also known for it use of carbon fiber fenders, etc.

The result of the “twin” custom was this excellent Vespa. I loved it when I saw it during Amerivespa and I didn’t even know the story behind it! It’s the only neon colored bike I’d ever consider riding, and that’s only because of the paint job and carbon fiber touches. The black LED turn signal kit is wicked cool and I hadn’t even heard the pipe they put on it… Until the other day when a good friend of mine was looking at the bike. Of course we started and had to rev it a bit. Not just for him but kinda’ really because there are several of us who love that little bike. (any excuse to rev it!) I did take a little video so you can take a little listen for yourself (video and pictures below).

All of this back story because I was scoping out the bikes in the garage the other day and noticed the heated hand grips so I wished I could test ride it to work and back on a couple of these freezing temperature days we’ve been having and posted a couple pictures.

I’d like to own this bike but I don’t want (and have no need for) two scooters. But ohhhh, it would suit me, I mean… it being so unique.

Come see it if you want, we love revving the engine, and I figure it needs a good rev every now and again.
(http://ttrno.com/products/super-lil-vespa-ttrno-custom) 

With respect and adoration,
Bonanza Jellybn

SuperLil Vespa currently available at Transportation Revolution in New Orleans.

What would “I” say rather? More often than sometimes it is a different thing…

Well, yesterday sucked.

…heh-heh-heh-heh
I don’t write for how long(?!) and this is what I start with? *sigh*
How disappointingly commonplace.

Ah well, here I am today, having ‘risen early, poured coffee, and thought while pouring that I should pursue the urge to journal and not putting it to the side, a-gain. Except that yesterday kind of sucked and today has hardly begun so what does one say?
What would “I” say rather? More often than sometimes it is a different thing and not the same as the lumped plurality of “one”. (…that’s kind of funny, “One” being plural.)
Well, except the first sentence, as noted “commonplace” and therefore, disappointingly slipping into a plurality of “one”.

*staring at screen with furrowed brow while this disappointing realization sinks in*

Deep down the urge to begin my day transcribing some thoughts into words is because there is so much going on, I am living at this second in the cusp of specific, evolving kinds of change(!). Yesterday was merely a difficult day. It happens. This cusp, a culmination of changes, I’ve been orchestrating for more than a year. I believe my trite first sentence was to release yesterday’s sucking into nothingness and start today clean-slated, eager. Because you see, I am actually in a pretty decent mood and all I really wanted to document when I sat down and opened a new page was to recognise (again, I do it in different ways constantly) that my life is (has been & still will be for some time) in flux and, without saying too much before the current fluctuations settle, that I hope/expect today to be more satisfying than yesterday.
Yes, I think that is all… and now I have done it.

Recently I purchased a pair sunglasses. I’ve hopes of needing this extra pair.

 

————-(an explanation, of a sort)————-

For me writing things down is like acceptance, clarification, loving strokes to my ego. I do it to release what’s in my head. Not just to let it go, or exercise thought, but writing it often lends the ability to view whatever it is, from different angles.
(acceptance=recognition, clarification=ability to see forward and stumble less, ego stroking=manipulating myself to keep moving)

Love,
Me

Ode to my car…

I didn’t think it was very cold… until I stood the length of time it takes to fill a tank of gas. Wind chill affected my legs; simple denim. The rest of me covered in wool and leather (because though I live in New Orleans, LA, I do adore wool. Sweaters, scarves, caps, mmm).
Thankfully, standing there with my legs experiencing the chill, if it hadn’t been for the slight chance of rain forecast for the time of day I’d be returning home I would have been on the scooter. Buck up, I would have “bucked up” of course, and handled it as I’ve proper cold weather riding gear as well (who doesn’t love “gear” when they have a  hobby?!) (IF scootering is considered a hobby; it is and it isn’t.)

Halfway home pings of sleet began tapping my windshield to the point

…stickler is, with whom and how? I seem to prefer an unknown audience.

Yesterday I spent large amounts of my day on the popular social networks, playing.
No, I wasn’t reading people’s posts or looking at photos. I researched, so to speak. I played with my profiles, updated a photo or two, and added a post when setting up a “share” between the two I still like and a third that’s popularly used. I disconnected facebook from the others as if separating a bad child to the corner.
Today I might remedy that. (It hasn’t actually done anything wrong.) I should update, family and a few friends like to check in from time to time (seeing as how I don’t call anyone, or go out, or do anything anymore). But I don’t think I will be reconnecting it to the other time sponges/sites, this being a sort of experiment. Besides, fb had become draining. (Oh, and boring in the doing of it. Don’t say you haven’t noticed.) Seems the introvert in me has placed fb onto the oft ignored shelf of supposedly necessary social responsibilities that aren’t actually, necessary. (…No, really, think about it.)

Though I haven’t been logging on to social networking sites anymore, partly on purpose, but mostly I just don’t have an interest in sharing. …I now believe that a misjudgment, because I haven’t stopped caring about my little blog. I barely post (true) but I miss it when I don’t. My mind often forms sentences from thoughts or reactions over whatever and then a little voice interjects, “Ooh you should write that down. Witty, and you never get to have conversations like this with real people”. *ends with ever-so-slightly prodding, but polite, smirk*
So I do actually enjoy sharing. Perhaps the stickler is, with whom and how?

Mono has a new mental stimulation, television… Her new fave: “Party at the snow hole” (that was the actual title)… She did however come outside with me for a bit, looked around for birds or squirrels then went back in to see if they were still in the television. *sigh* 

(Tumblr post)

You’re the measure of my dreams.

Shane MacGowan “The Pogues”